I’ll admit it: I’m Canadian.
Big surprise eh? I’m sure you’ll have noticed my “incorrect” spelling of certain words in previous posts. Hell with the lack of Canadian/UK English spellcheckers on some sites I’m not even sure if my incorrect spelling is right.
But I’ve not always been Canadian you see. I was born in Chengdu, China and moved to Canada during elementary school. And boy is there a culture gap. I mean in Canada you spend less than 50% of your time doing math, wear shoes inside of houses, sleep on mattresses, sit on toilets, and you’re all lumberjacks! It’s a wonder the country’s economy hasn’t been completely ax murdered yet what with only producing maple syrup and poutine and having to rebuild the igloos every year. And cheese? What’s with that?
And yeah, there are a bunch of confusing things like the great white North, there’s a bunch of good as well. Everything’s so clean here. There are trees and the sky is blue coloured instead of smog coloured. You can actually breath in public restrooms in Canada. And the money very easy to use being colour coded and all. Oh and freedom is a pretty good and all. OH! And Timmy’s. You can’t forget Timmy’s. That’s definitely the most important of all the things listed here.
I guess the most potent thing about Canada is how nice it is. I mean we’re talking about a country that achieved sovereignty by asking nicely. And having lived here for so long, it’s even made me become a nice person…. whether I wanted to or not (cue ominous sound effect). The other day I was at a Chinese Supermarket and I nearly walked into this other guy coming around the corner. And though we didn’t really have to, both of us instinctively said sorry. And you could tell: neither of us were happy about it. We both said it very sourly then promptly walked away.
So I’ve concluded that there’s only one possible explanation to all this sugarplums and niceness: Canada is just too close to the North Pole (and therefore Santa’s workshop) so the field a love and kindness and all that crap has a stronger pull in Canada, making Canadians nice. [Sidenote: I’m assuming these goodytwoshoes forces are weak nuclear forces.] I’m assuming a similar phenomenon happens in Scotland due to it’s proximity to Hogwarts.
So having accepted my Canadianness and inevitable niceness, I’ll leave you with this song about dear oh Canada.